Wild!

I'll write this as concisely as possible since it's extremely late:

A transformer blew, knocked out the power and started a huge fire in the field across the street tonight. I'm so grateful for ready and willing neighbors with nothing but shovels to dampen the flames. The jurisdiction between city, county and national forest service was debatable so the trucks didn't show up for a long time, scaring us all into "evacuation-ready mode" as the flames reached high and across a vast space. Canyon Road was lined with cars as concerned passersby were fraught with worry too, because from where we all were situated (downhill from the fire) it looked as if it was burning much closer to barns and homes than it in fact was.

Anyway, the fire trucks pulled up a good twenty minutes after we all called which was a little disheartening as there is a station just down the street from us, but it was hard to feel too upset with them because we started to notice that the bright orange glow was getting weaker (heroes with shovels!) The road was shut down and the fifty or so people on the road dwindled back down to around ten.

We started to calm down and eventually felt assured that homes would be secure and the fields would be barely even smoking by morning. Juan and I and a neighbor (the last civilians still out) were saying our goodbyes around 12:30 as the mayor walked up to the scene. He had been one of the first people there, but as he couldn't do much to help he left and returned later to check up on things.  It's just now a quarter to two in the morning and the firetrucks are starting to leave.  I'm so so so grateful that nothing worse happened!

Attempting to Drive with Both Hands on the Wheel

I would like to begin by saying I do not write this with any attempt to argue a point hereafter.  I do not have the clout to stand up as an authority on the subject, I am not an historian, nor am I talented in rebuttals on-the-fly.  However, since we are in a socially-bound world and all share the same freedom of expression, I feel completely justified in sharing my thoughts on my personal, but publicly accessible blog.


There are many issues in the world that disturb me, from human trafficking to poverty to warlords to drug cartels.  I don't feel alone in knowing that those things ought not happen. This conviction stems from a secularly inexplicable core of values that most humans hold to be standard for all of the human race.  In religious terms, it is considered a moral compass or the light within.

The world's history has seen many, and I mean many, a time when delusions and justifications have built upon each other to the point when what seems utterly wrong was completely acceptable and sometimes even viewed as necessary.  The first (and most obvious) thing that comes to mind is the leaders of the Axis nations during WWII, specifically Adolf Hitler.  Hitler was a man who instigated mass slayings in the most abhorring ways, and to you and me and most of the world during that time those things ought not to have happened.  Yet, how did it happen?  Did a man who had a little power just decide one day to attempt to take over the whole European world?  No.  He joined the Nazi party during WWI and spread his power fever among those who leaned toward Socialism.  Eventually he wrote a book explaining that he was unjustly imprisoned when he tried to take over Munich with around two-thousand other Nazis.  He blatantly disregarded the group of people he was trying to lay siege upon and for that, he was imprisoned for treason.  In essence, he was denied what he thought should have been his.  What do you think?  Was it his for the taking?  Was it Bavaria's for the keeping?  All I see in review of this event was a power struggle that was lost and we all know what happened next.  Hitler resented those who imprisoned him.  He used a lot of martyrdom in his speech, claiming he was only thinking about his countrymen.  He used the law as his script, slightly turning ideas in the direction he was aiming for--anti-semitism and total domination.  He tactically used his personal "struggle" to persuade others into thinking that it was the religious values that were contributing to Germany's post-war weaknesses.  Bold speeches occasionally coupled with threats cornered those who didn't agree with his thoughts, all the while using "the law" as his mark.  While there were surely problems with the current state of Germany, Hitler was enticing people to join him to fix those problems with an experimental governing force.  It had not been accepted before, but it could work, right?  After all, it was he and his fellow Nazi followers (who were growing more in number daily) who had felt the harsh judgements of Tradition.  Once given a voice and essentially undeniable power as Chancellor, there was no limit to what Hitler could enforce.  He had plenty of people following him, willing to go to any length because it was a cause they believed in.  The vast majority of Germany was left to suffer from this minority's decisions because they didn't stop it earlier.

We are quite aware of what ensued, so the question begs to be asked: How did something so blatantly wrong become diluted in such a way that it was embraced by millions?  It came as it has come many times before; through arguments that could not quickly be refuted; through a talent of speech; through personal attestations of oppression; through willing audiences whose participation created a justification for review of the law; and through a group with an agenda to gain recognition.

This same process is happening now in a very real way, although it has come in a completely different form (please don't misinterpret this; the comparison is to the general process alone, not the result.)  I feel like the propaganda of it all is spreading a new ideology in this country--that is, the ideology that every single person has the SAME rights, regardless of what they've been inherently given.

Indulge me for a second.  The word EQUALITY used to mean that every human was to be treated as such--a human being. I doubt there are many people who disagree with that. However, the term has been spread now, diluted within the current legal limits, to mean that whether you are a man or a woman, parent or child, Priesthood holder or not (in the case of my own religion) every single person should have the SAME authority, that there would be no distinction of roles, that there would be the SAME responsibility across gender lines, cross-generationally, and ecclesiastically.  (As a side-note: please draw your attention to the word SAME.  It is a completely different word than EQUAL.  Yet, we speak of equality now of being the SAME.  Why on earth would you want to be the SAME as someone else?  I have such a hard time explaining to my daughters that although they get to do different things they are still equal.  Although one gets to have play dates while her sister is in school, her sister gets to go to recess with lots of friends every day.  They are different, but they are EQUAL.  Differences are good; it is when we look at what we don't have that gets us into the mindset that we have been shortchanged.)

But back to the process I mentioned before:

Not even a century ago, most people in the United States believed in marriage solely between a man and a woman.  This has changed.  60 years ago, nobody batted an eye that only men held the Priesthood in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  This too has changed.  In such a short time with information traveling faster with each decade, the dilution of those standards changed.  People stopped relying on their own compass within and put more faith in the convincing words of others.  Once again, arguments couldn't be quickly refuted; there were personal stories of those who had been poorly treated (using those stories as arguments that every person who didn't align with their views would act in like manner;) and because of the strength in numbers to attract attention, we are shifting into an iconoclastic society.  Certain things ought not to happen, yet they are being touted as completely acceptable and viewed as necessary.  The majority is shifting into the minority because they don't stop to ponder all the implications of these arguments and that group will quickly lose its voice unless they speak out.  It is no longer sufficient for people who have traditional convictions to sit back and let this run its course.  We see what happens when things are left to work themselves out.  It is similar to a car pointed toward a long stretch of road with no hands on the steering wheel....

First Camping Trip of 2014

This past weekend, the girls suggested we take Juan camping for Father's Day.  I offered the idea up to Juan and he graciously accepted it (probably because we had done all the packing and cooking--the hardest part of camping, in my opinion.)  In true Chavez spontaneity, we left a couple hours after the idea had initially been presented. We drove to the same spot we went camping last year, a little-known campsite behind Rock Canyon in the Uintahs.  It was a little bit harder to get our little Honda Pilot up there because of all the avalanche damage over the roads, but we pushed through until we made it.  It was surprisingly cold, which we were only sort-of prepared for, but we all stayed warm during the night, so it turned out okay.  Ezra didn't sleep very well (a similar thing happened last year,) but thankfully he was not sick and we could go on a hike the next morning to Stewart Falls behind Mt. Timpanogos. 

The girls did pretty well with only a little complaining of their legs being sore, and Ezra caught up with the sleep he lost the night before.  Juan was carrying that cute chunky monkey the whole time, which was quite the test of how well his ankle is healing.  He was a little sore afterwards, but it was overall a successful hike.  I can't believe that after all this time living in Provo, I had never been there!

 Afterward, we drove home and got all cleaned up.  We got ready in time to find a great spot for watching the parade:

Their candy stash was a little too much to handle....

Mi Casa Es Su Casa... Es Su Casa.... Es Su Casa...

Things on the housing front are looking a bit brighter.  After 8 months of serious searching, 3 different housing contracts signed this year alone, and countless house visits, we think we've got "the one".  It's a looooooot cheaper than we were originally going for, but I think that's on the better end of the spectrum of practicality, right?  It's not perfect: it's old and it does not have Central Air, it looks dated and needs a little bit of TLC, BUT it has just enough updating done that we can finish the rest DIY-style and make it "our own".

We're happy, but not completely excited yet.  This could be because we've gotten this far before and have had some major turn of events happen to nix the whole operation (e.g. Texas house financing, moldy house inspection, and a simple but sure answer to prayer on a house that was reaching the tip-top of our price point.)  The house inspection is tomorrow, and barring any unforeseen problems, we will be set to close before the end of June.  Wow.  It really might be happening this time.

I feel that through all the experiences with this house hunt, I have grown in a way that I may not have otherwise.  Financially, we've been in a great position to be home-owners for quite a while now and always knowing that was the hardest thing to reconcile with our situation; there was so much red tape, hidden nightmares, and unanswerable reasons in our previous endeavors.  However, now I can take a little more disappointment, drop a few expectations and can find more things to be content with.  Timetables are still important to me, but I'm learning that they are not everything and certainly not the most important things.  This is a huge shift in perspective for me because I am a very goal-driven, proactive person for the most part.  Doing all that you can do just has to be enough sometimes.  I cannot control God's path for me; I simply have to swallow my pride and hunker down until the sun starts shining again.  

In the meantime it's just nice to sit back and ponder on the clouds, because they never last forever.

May

This is basically how May has happened so far....

1. Our post-ice skating snack. Turns out Qiana was as good at eating ice as she was at skating on it. In this pic, Ez was plotting against me and my sno-cone since they spilled half of theirs. He subsequently carried out his plan and soon the remaining traces of the sugary treats were only left on the table and his *gulp* white shirt.

2. The First Grade Spanish Immersion classes put on a few plays for the parents the other day. Siena's part was the third little pig, which she rocked! I'm amazed at how much Spanish the other children had learned in just one year.

3. I'm slowly catching on to the fact that my time with the kids all to myself is limited. It's taken long enough for me to figure this out! So we've been doing things a little more impulsively. The kids finally got library cards, we've created sidewalk chalk masterpieces together, gone on bike rides and walks, and had picnics way more often than is necessary. It helps me feel a little less guilty about how badly I'm messing up my children.

4. The other day we had a late lunch, so when it was dinner time, none of us were hungry (everybody knows that story.) Well, after pjs were on and teeth were brushed the kids started complaining about being hungry. Once we realized that we forgot to feed them something--anything--before bed, we searched the cupboards for something to eat. Incidentally, I had NOT done the grocery shopping yet and every shelf in the refrigerator was a sorry sight. I did scrounge up enough things to make nachos, so we served that... on a communal platter... without utensils. As we ate, the girls started asking questions:

Qiana: Are we eating off this one plate because we are poor?

and later...
Qiana: Are we eating with our hands because we don't have spoons?
Siena: No, it's because it's faster this way and we need to go to sleep.

Proud parenting moment, for real.

5. We put Qiana in soccer with Siena. She is a natural at sports and she tears it up out with the boys on the field. Siena has kinda stepped down her game a bit since her sister started and we feel like soccer really isn't her thing anyway, so we're taking her out and giving extracurricular activities a break for a month or so. We'll see how it goes. In the meantime she's going to stay in piano, since she excels in that area. If she wants to, we'll give a ballet studio a try.

Life is for Learning

"Though I suffered then, I am grateful now that there was not a quick solution to my problem. The fact that I was forced to turn to God for help almost daily over an extended period of years taught me how to truly pray and get answers to prayer and taught me in a practical way to have faith in God. I came to know my Savior and my Heavenly Father in a way and to a degree that might not have happened otherwise or that might have taken me much longer.... I learned to trust in the Lord with all my heart. I learned to walk with Him day by day." Elder Todd D. Christofferson

There have been few things in my life that haven't worked out.  I feel blessed to recognize this.  With all that has worked out, it's no wonder that I feel so protected in life. I feel weak thinking that I haven't developed a stronger resilience because of the lack of stress on my soul.  I recognize the tears I cry when I hear of the trials of others are simply a result of not even being able to fathom the heartache they experience.  I feel confined to worrying about handling the future with all its heartaches which undoubtedly will come.  The symbolism of life being a roller coaster is truer than true but it's when I am at my highest that I feel the most ominous feeling that the high will end and I will soon be going through another low.  Yet, I know that "going through" is the point, the whole purpose.  A roller coaster is not worth riding without the lows and the highs to push you forward.

We've been in another low lately, though saying it out loud just puts it in perspective that it's really not that low, comparatively.  I had always tried to make our rental homes feel like HOME, but the fact that it was temporary could not be hidden.  As hard as we tried to be neighborly and get to know people, the fact was that we would be moving again (for school, residency, moving to Texas, moving back to Utah, moving to get Siena in a Spanish Immersion program, prospective home purchases in that area;) no one really felt the need to get to know us in any of the neighborhoods (besides the current one, which is great, for the record.  I think attending the ward has helped with that immensely though I yearn for the Spanish Branch, too.)  The fact that we were members of the Spanish Branch wherever we went also made it hard since none of our neighbors saw us regularly.  In Midvale, we got a taste of what a good neighbor is for the first time when we became friends with an older couple.  Sandee was always willing to have conversations and the girls would always ask to go over and visit her.  It felt so good to have someone living close by who we could count on, too.  We took care of her plants and pets when they traveled and she would take care of our trash bin when we were out of town.  It was awesome, but in the end we all knew it would be short-lived as time grew closer for Juan's residency to end.  

Fast forward to the point.

In Texas, we found a house and started making plans to set roots, excited for everything that comes with calling somewhere HOME.  We had been pre-approved by many different places, we had money saved up for a down-payment and our "future home" was within our budget.  I know it sounds silly, but I was actually giddy to finally get to paint a wall after being married for 7 years.  After the stacks and stacks of paperwork were finally filled out and everything had been inspected, fixed, and agreed upon (including earnest money paid,) we heard the awful news that none of the banks were going to actually approve our home loan.  Juan's paycheck was not the problem.  It was his paystubs--he didn't actually have enough of them.   He didn't have enough history for the bank to feel comfortable lending to him.  In hindsight, I can understand their concern a little, although a medical professional should have no problem with job security.  But that's the market we're in!  The banks had told him over and over again that that would be the only glitch, but that they could get it straightened out with the underwriters.  No bueno.  Three different banks told us this and all three ended up eating their words.  We now know that this was all in preparation for us to follow the prompting to move back to Utah, so it's water under the bridge and I am not bitter about it.

Continuing forward, we moved to Utah in October 2012 and lived with my parents for 3 months until we figured out which of Juan's new jobs he would take and where we wanted the kids to go to school.  Once we decided on that, it worked out that we found a rental home down the street from the school.  (See?  Things have really worked out for us!)  Because of the move to Utah and our lost earnest money on the Texas home, our savings account had pretty much been depleted again and we started saving again for another down-payment.  In late summer of last year we were ready again to buy a house.  We found a lot and were excited to build a new home and get on with the "next step" in our lives, once again hoping to finally lay roots.  We had everything ready to go again when Juan and I both got another prompting NOT to go ahead with that house.  I kept thinking to myself, "Is this just us subconsciously not wanting to make a big decision?" I was more confused than ever why we wouldn't just go ahead with the build, which was the logical thing to do.  Around the time we decided not to build, we were informed of a house in Siena's school boundaries that was going to go to Short-Sale and everything looked as if it would work out.  However, we knew we were in it for the long-haul because Short-Sales have a reputation of taking months.

Then it happened.  Juan broke his ankle a week before Christmas and the medical bills started rolling in.  It was a time of major expenses, despite the fact that we had health insurance and that we were frugal with Christmas.  We are still paying bills for that and April is also the blessed month for taxes, which we now have to DISH OUT, instead of reap.  I am so grateful we didn't build that home because we would not have had enough money saved up for the down-payment, seeing as most of it went toward those darn medical bills.  Things have worked out!

We were very good, though, by setting a paycheck aside every month for savings and were prepared again for the Short-Sale we were hoping to get.  We also talked to different mortgage officers about making sure we would be approved for a loan this time.  We were told that the best thing to do was to have Juan pay himself a W2, which was really the only way to get past the bureaucratic red tape of being self-employed for less than two years... our new hurdle.  This incurred thousands of dollars more in taxes to pay (he was essentially being double-taxed,) but we decided it was worth it if we could finally purchase a home.  

The bank that owns the Short-Sale home finally got back to us 5 months later (the beginning of this month) and told us that it appraised for $60K more than expected.  We were not going to pay that, so the mortgage officer told us that there were a couple things we could do to barter the price down to within our expected price.  The first thing we did was get a home inspection.  This ended up costing about $530, which was worth every penny.  After the inspector gave us the report and walked me through the home, it was more than evident that it was in fact NOT the house we were told it was--meaning that the owners (a close friend, in fact) had kept vital information from us despite the fact that they were losing it to the bank anyway.  25% of the home was considered a biohazard because of a faulty deck that had channeled water right into the house.  The bedroom carpet had mushrooms growing out of it and the ceiling below was rotted out.  This was the worst mold situation the inspector had ever seen in his 20+ years work experience.  We were just never shown those parts in our walk-throughs for whatever reason.  The house had other issues with foundation, mold, electrical, drainage, failure, etc.  It was a disaster below the beautiful façade.

We were more than disappointed and so...so... soooo frustrated.  How come, after all we had done to be responsible homebuyers, there was nothing to show for it?  There was no lawn to mow, no garden to be planted, no wall to paint.  Our 2 years of looking for homes, being in contracts, working with the banks was wasted, one would assume.  

Not so.  

We learned so much more than ever before about home-buying, about what our priorities really were, and what we could really take on.  I am grateful that we are back to square one--I am frustrated with it every single day and that frustration has led me to more fervent prayers and has helped me understand and accept that the Lord will take care of us.  

"The Spirit can guide us when to look ahead and when we should deal just with this one day, with this one moment. Asking for and receiving daily bread at God’s hand plays a vital part in learning to trust Him and in enduring life’s challenges. We also need a daily portion of divine bread to become what we must become... we can do it because we can appeal to God for our daily bread, for the help we need each day."

He will put us where He wants us and the past has proven to us that He will take care of us.  Things WILL work out.  Who really cares where we live, or what the house is like, or whether we will rent for the rest of our lives?  It is not easy to accept this and I am still on sea legs with this new mentality but if I remain focused on accepting God's will over my own expectations or even simple wants, I will be a happier person.  I can become more of the person God wants me to be.  I can "bloom where I'm planted"... and that's really been the whole point of this particular process for us.  I just need to be "grateful in any circumstances", like Dieter F. Uchtdorf explained so well earlier this month.  

My roller coaster car will go up again and I can expect to get a little break from disappointment and in that alone, I can look forward with hope.

Ezra's 2nd Birthday

First thing, birthday muffin for breakfast.

(The only picture I didn't get was when I took him to the barber for a haircut.  He was the youngest chap in the chair by about 50 years.)

His party was as chill as I am going be in explaining the rest of the pictures:

  

San Diego, a.k.a. Paradise

Now why would I dub San Diego as Paradise but not another, more exotic place in the world?  Well, there are lots of reasons, but the main one is that the weather is perfect, it's relatively close by and cheap, and has so many things to offer: mainly, the beach.

Juan was considering taking a CE course there and of course, I invited myself to go with him.  After Juan recruited some of his friends to go to the course, I got busy recruiting their wives.  It didn't take a lot to convince them that a vacation was in order.  After taking a more relaxed approach to "planning" our trip, this is how it all played out (and yes, once again these are just dinky pics from my phone:)

 ----------------------Friday-------------------------

Thursday night, Juan and I dropped off the kids at various houses (Siena had to stay in town because she had school the next day, while Qiana and Ezra were left with my parents.)  After a quick, but bumpy flight we made it to the hotel, which incidentally was the exact hotel I stayed at last September--I liked it that much.  The next morning the boys all met up to carpool to the CE course at Paradise Point Resort while the girls and I met up for brunch at The Cottage in La Jolla.  (By the way, about 50% of this trip was just a repeat of last September because it seemed to be a perfect match for the group we were with.) We then got pedicures and walked along La Jolla Cove.  Of course, we did a lot of local shopping and got that mostly out of our systems.  Finally, the boys were done for the day so we told them to meet up with us for dinner.  I wanted to see how adventurous everyone would be so I suggested an Ethiopian restaurant (it had rave reviews.)  It turned out to be a delicious choice and broke the ice quite nicely since we didn't have utensils and had to eat family style.  Afterwards, I thought it would be fun to have pie since it was Pi Day (3.14) but when we got to the pie place I found, it turned out to be a hippy joint with questionable desserts.  I was embarrassed, but we all laughed about it.  Juan and I dropped off Kurt and his office manager back at the Resort where they were staying and met everyone else back at our hotel.  They redeemed the pie fiasco by getting pie at Marie Callender's and bringing it back to eat around a fire pit at the pool.  It was a great end to a long, but relaxing day.

----------------------Saturday-------------------------

Saturday, the boys left early again for the last day of their CE and we girls met up to go to the Farmers Market in Little Italy.  It was a great place to have breakfast (I had fresh-squeezed California Blood Orange Juice, artisan cheese and a fresh mini baguette!) and find little mementos from the trip.  We went to Balboa Park next and explored a little.  Luck had it that the San Diego Floral Association was putting on an Ikebana Floral Show for free at the park, demonstrations included.  I was amazed to see the Grandmaster, Akiko Bourland (almost 90 years old) in her last public floral show before retiring.  Her works were amazing and she was hilarious to watch as she bossed her assistants around.  Megan and Natalia were so, so kind to indulge me in staying for a workshop.  Turns out, we all loved it.  We met Megan's friend, Michele there at the Botanical Garden and afterward went to eat a late lunch at an authentic Mexican restaurant in the Gay District.  Natalia and I wrote one of our life's dreams on a Bucket List wall, but then quickly deserted the area since it was a little weird lingering there.  We met Michele's family down at Tamarack Beach, and collected sea shells along the coast while we waited for the boys to catch up with us.  I think that night was the first time I've ever been patient enough to actually watch the sun go down until it disappeared into the horizon.  Talk about a relaxing evening.  The boys wanted to eat, so we all went to Sammy's, a wood-fired pizza place which was quite nice.  We couldn't just call it a night after eating dinner, so we all trekked over to Fleming's for some sinfully delicious molten chocolate cake.  We were all falling asleep at the table, marking a productive day of having fun.

----------------------Sunday-------------------------

Sunday morning we all rushed to get ready for 8:30 church about 30 minutes away.  We attended the Spanish Branch Megan attended while on her mission and were once again reminded how different, yet amazing being in such humble circumstances feels.  I miss all of our past Spanish Branches/Wards!  We then drove to the beach in Encinitas and soaked up some sun a little bit until it was time to meet up with one of the women Megan helped teach on her mission, Rocio.  She and her family were so kind and made us some tasty taquitos which kept us filled until late that night.  Vince wasn't feeling too hot, so he went back to the hotel with Megan while Jon, Natalia, Juan and I visited Old Town San Diego, specifically The Mormon Batallion site.  It was a great production and appropriate for the Sabbath.  That night, the boys wanted to eat something so we went to get some more Mexican food.  I don't think there is such a thing as too much Mexican food.

----------------------Monday-------------------------

(don't mind my horrible posture)

Monday was our last day on our trip, so we decided to take the boys to experience The Cottage brunch for themselves.  Good choice, of course.  Then we went to Coronado and took in the beauty of the Hotel del Coronado and the white, sandy beach it neighbored.  In order to satisfy the boys, we went over to South Park and they all discovered the deliciousness called "Mariscos Germán" (or the Nine Seas taco truck.)  Nobody could finish their plates because we were all still full from brunch, but they needed those fish tacos to complete their San Diego experience. :)  After visiting one last shop, we headed back to the hotel and parted ways with the Dilley's, who were staying one more day.  We drove the Clarke's to the airport and used up the last hour visiting the Maritime Museum area and getting oysters in a half shell--something on Juan's California bucket list.  The flight back wasn't too bad, besides the turbulence.  (The older we get, the less Juan and I like to fly.  It's putting your life at risk and all that turbulence reminds you of it. Sheesh, we're old and cautious!)

Anyway, getting back to the little bumbles asleep in their beds (thanks to my generous mother who we couldn't have done all of this without,) was a world of happiness.  Having the break from those kiddos just reminded us how lucky we are to have them.

Until next time, SD... you were good to us.